FEAR
So this is what it boils down to…. This is the monster…. This is all that keeps the whispers at bay….
….. My façade is breaking, my fortress crumbling. The hypnotic substances I once found to work magic are a hoax…..
…..This land the whispers remind me of are protected by this force. This force I create to be real in my mind. It is quit pathetic, how I did not see it. It is quit stupid for revealing itself to me….
…..For what is kept secret in the mind holds me prisoner, but what is spoken sets me free. So I speak it now to go where the whispers want to take me to be free………
………………… I Am Afraid
I am not going to complicate this section with theories and opinions. We all experience fear. The importance is recognizing this fear and when and how it affects or is affecting your decisions. Why do I say decisions instead of it affecting your life? Because FEAR itself has no power. It cannot affect your life unless you allow it to.
FEAR exists only in the mind. It occurs when we perceive something as a threat to ourselves or others. When we perceive a situation as a threat (whether it actually is or not), FEAR becomes tenacious and once it gets its tentacles around your mind it can render you helpless.
There is only one reason why you have not changed and quit your addiction up to this point. FEAR! You have not been convinced you can successfully handle life without alcohol or drugs!
You believe something or someone will be able to take something from you. You believe your feelings of loneliness, sadness, or whatever emotion you experience would be too much and too scary to handle without alcohol or drugs. You would be exposed. Your facade would be stripped. You would have no defenses left to buffer your heart from getting hurt by others.
Think about it. How many times have you been through a program or obtained all the necessary knowledge you need to quit your addiction, but then ended up using again? Why? Because you didn’t understand everything taught you? Because you did not understand the effects of the substance on your body? Because you did not understand the consequences of your using? NO! You know all this already. It was because of FEAR! You knew the information, but were not convinced you would be completely safe without your good friend! You wondered how you would handle stress or emotions that arose on your own. You wondered how you would handle a relationship and the closeness.
This scares you because to show who you truly are will expose you. You have created an image of yourself separate from your alcohol and drug use. You have lied to yourself that “it’s not that bad” or “It is because of….that I use”. You know these to be false but can deny them because of the justifications and excuses you tell yourself that we talked about in the initial section. To look at what you have become and acknowledge it was of your choosing would be too scary.
To own your behavior and choices puts great fear in you. You do not want to acknowledge what you created. To do this, you believe, is to set yourself up for hurt.
You have used alcohol or drugs so long to buffer you from these stressors and emotions that you wonder if you can still face them alone. You doubt yourself and your abilities. How would you handle yourself? Would you be overwhelmed with unwanted emotions? Could I live with the reality that I created this mess? How would I resolve all this? It is safer to hide in a bottle or pipe than face the unknown.
This is what fear does when we allow it to. The “great debater of possibilities”, it confuses and sidetracks us from what we truly want in life. Fear gives us excuses and reasons to remain stuck and immobile. For at least we know what to expect.
But there is hope! Like I stated before, FEAR is nothing on its own. We have to give it power. So how do we deflate fear? How do we overcome our hesitancy to face life on our own?
Benjamin Franklin stated he overcame fear by “acting without delay”. Ben knew the secret to overcoming fear was to not “sit up in his head”. If he allowed his mind to start the great debate of possibilities, then he would be immobilized with fear. He had a goal, knew his destination and with action was able to bypass the doubt in his head.
There is no change without action. The longer you hang out in your head the more complicated the great debate of possibilities becomes. So we must start acting if we want to overcome fear and go after the change we desperately seek for our lives.